is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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