At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Damn victory sex feels great
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
