I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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