I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
