Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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