Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
