its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
