Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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