i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
