Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
