we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
