highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's shark week go big or go home
Enjoy the penises
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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