I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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