Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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