Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
