the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
