so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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