im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
