The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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