u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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