i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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