At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
