no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
