I wanna passion pit in your ass
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
