Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
