Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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