I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
