I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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