TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
