im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
