yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
