I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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