(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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