Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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