Do you still have your period?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
