I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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