I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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