Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
