I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
