Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
