we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
