no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
