This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
