I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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