please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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