I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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