The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Alive.
So much puke
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
