you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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