i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
