i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
