There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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